Welcome to the Columbo Club
Remote access! VPN! Not to be confused with VPL. It's wacky! It's horrible!
Our recruitment software went on the blink, so I phoned the support line and Mr Support kept me on the phone while he logged onto the virtual server (?) and commandeered my PC. Don't know if you've ever had experience of your computer being manhandled remotely - it's like some sort of demonic possession. Anyway, I didn't know that Mr Support was going to take control of my PC, and I happened to have been writing the previous post at the time, and had been searching for a good picture of Columbo that Jack Yan hadn't already used, preferably one of him turning back from a doorway, and I had about fifty Columbo fan sites open, some of which were really fanny, if I'm allowed to say that. You know, Columbo's face superimposed on Fabio's body, that sort of thing; I hadn't started the selection process yet And there was this aching silence from the phone receiver as Mr Support patiently minimised all these freakish Columbo sites one by one. Occasionally he'd clear his throat, possibly to cover a gasp of horror.
'It's for my blog,' I said eventually, as he lingered for an astonished moment on ColumboNudeScreensavers.com. He was wondering whether to report me to my boss.
He didn't answer. Eventually he managed to find my home screen, which was covered with shortcuts to good Columbo pages. 'I think perhaps I should be working directly with the server,' Mr Support said softly.
'That's probably best,' I squeaked. I almost said, 'Just one more thing-'
The software is still on the blink, by the way. Either Mr Support is assuming I don't do any work anyway, or he's looking for a reason to possess my computer again, and this time bring some incredulous colleagues along to watch.
Comments
Brilliant. I've had that remote access thing happen at work - it's like having your mum nose around your teenage bedroom, while you mutely watch and think "please don't look under the bed and find my diary/in My Documents and clock all those pictures of marmosets." Or, you know, whatever you have saved there.
It makes you feel so helpless, doesnt it?
...all those pictures of marmosets.
I've been grinning about this image for about ten minutes now.
Next time Mr Support 'visits', I'm going to have marmosets everywhere, sorted into files (Marmosets I Like, Marmosets I Love, Middling Marmosets, Think They Might Actually Be Marmots). That'll throw 'im.
Anyway, I'm just off to close all these pictures of Fabio.
I had it done at home and felt quite violated.
After the incident with the porn on the lush's computer at my old job, my ex-colleagues were relieved to find nothing more damning on my hard drive than some pictures of pandas and a hedgehog in a teacup.
Hedgehog in a teacup! Splendid. Have just tried to google it but got a picture of a hedgehog with its front legs in plaster.
Re colleagues: were they really relieved, Kate? Were they? Are you sure they weren't just a little bit disappointed?
I hate that - when your cursor starts whizzing around the screen as you watch, dumbfounded ...
Doesn't happen any more, though. Our IT Dept (aka The Bearded Sloth and Papa Smurf) have decided to let us gals run our own little corner of the company network. Saves 'em having to come up to London - a nd has so far saved our budgets an absolute fortune. (£50 for a new adaptor for a Dell notebook? Really?)
Not that there's anything dodgy on my 'pooter of course.
*coughs*
Sounds tres prudent.
You still might want to watch where you store that pic of Jonathan Rhys Meyers 'in low trouser', though.
Woah! Bill Cosby, Chris Corner, a squirrel on crack, some knitting and a colleague wrestling in beans? You'd think the media would have covered that. Could have kickstarted a Sneaker Pimps comeback, at least.
Remember the first rule of blogging, Fox: show, don't tell.
Looking forward to your next post!
Ha! Cheeky minx. I didn't even know you could do that. Can you nudge the mouse so that it goes off-target every time the support person is about to click on something? Can you open MS Paint and write 'help me' in tiny scribble and pretend to the support person that you can't see it happening?
I'd forgotten that squirrel on crack - it was truly scarey!
As for Mr Meyers, that pic is stored next to my ... my ... um .. my heart. Yes. That's it. My heart.
Kate and Plubby - let's keep it clean, for God's sake. Save that sort of thing for Riss' blog.
I knew the hedgehog in a cup was just the thin end of the wedge.
Excellent. Doesn't quite work the other way round though, does it?
Ahem.
Well done. The very thought of a wedgehog has already made my eyes water ...
I know exactly what you mean. It's the difference between being slightly godlike and being in an office.
I'm pretty sure that if I could control my computer from home - from my bed, to be specific - I wouldn't be able to tell you what controlling it from work felt like.